[diversity-talk] Neurodiversity and CoC

[Kai Krueger]

On 10/08/2014 01:27 PM, Serge Wroclawski wrote:
> I don't know of any specific code of conducts that address
> neurodiversity, and in some ways that's because our community doesn't
> operate like any software project. It's closer to Wikimedia; I'll
> reach out to the Wikimedians and see if they have any ideas.
> 
> It's a really delicate issue because you can't just say that a
> behavior is okay because of a diagnosis. I was at an event for another
> community and someone  put a serving utensil in their mouth and then
> back in the collective food. It is likely that this person was
> neurodivergent, but that doesn't make the behavior any less
> disgusting.
> 
> Off the top of my head (without further research) I'd say we flip the
> "strikes" around, and make the first one private. This is often what I
> do as part of the DWG- I'll try to message someone privately before
> taking any public action like a 0 hour block).
> 
> Secondly, I'd say we need to name very specific behaviors. ie not
> "When you're gross" but "When you put the public utensils in your
> mouth" and also why "People don't like it because they are afraid of
> germs" or "You're standing very close and when you do that, people
> feel uncomfortable".
> 
> The thing is not to shame people if at all possible. Shaming a
> neurodivergent[1] person will just increase their anxiety and
> discourage them from participating and I don't think that's what we
> want (at least it's not what I want- I just a place where everyone can
> participate).

I think this is true for nearly everyone, not just neurodivergent
people. Shaming is often not helpful, at least not as a first measure.

Although there is clearly behaviour that is fully intentionally
derogative and hurtful, where shaming or other punishment is appropriate
even in the first instance, I would think that most (although I don't
have any statistics to back up this claim) cases is more due to lack of
sensitivity than deliberately being hurtful.

I.e. people are often not aware of what is and is not hurtful to a
different group and that what is "perfectly acceptable" behaviour in one
social group might be deeply hurtful in another.

However, once you attack/shame/punish a person they will get all
defensively (and/or aggressive) about the issue. At that point, even
otherwise rational people, with whom you could normally talk sensibly
about these issues, become unreasonable and the situation can very
quickly spiral totally out of control, resulting in a situation where
everyone looses.

Should the first calm and private attempt to resolve the issue amicably
behind the scenes not succeed, then the issue can still be escalated
further.

Kai



> 
> I'll do more research on this topic to see if Wikimedia has done any
> work on it. If not, we may be working on new territory.
> 
> - Serge
> 
> [1] This is apparently the correct term for non-neurotypical.
> 
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