[diversity-talk] Neurodiversity and CoC

Tue Dec 2 04:26:11 UTC 2014

Hi folks,

Let's all please take a deep breath and try to calm down.

I'd like to share something we recently implemented as a very important
part of our code of conduct at my workplace: the assumption of good intent.
That is, the first time someone does something that offends someone else,
we should assume good intent.

I think it's extremely unlikely that Alyssa was trying to hurt or offend
anyone by what she said, but unfortunately it did end up doing so. The next
step would be to let the person know that it was hurtful and why in a
polite way and ask that they don't repeat the behavior. I'm not saying that
it's not okay to be angry, but it's important at this stage to remain as
level-headed as possible or seek the help of a mediator to make sure your
message is communicated successfully. At the same time, the person who
mistakenly acted in an offensive way is expected to demonstrate that they
are listening and that they will try their best to avoid similar offenses
in the future.

I know this probably all sounds silly, but we make mistakes, we will always
make mistakes, let's try not to repeat them but use them as an opportunity
to learn from each other.

My best,
Mele
On Mon, Dec 1, 2014 at 7:52 PM Randal Hale <rjhale at northrivergeographic.com>
wrote:

>  In general - yeah. But if we all unsubscribed who would get offended.
> Alyssa already set the mark for worst person in existence and I always
> thought that was the other guy.
>
> I can't decide if I find it all funny or sad. I'm leaning more towards
> sad. But then I'd offend those with Season Affective Disorder...and get 42
> emails describing me as the 2nd worst person ever past Alyssa.
>
> Anyway,
>
> Randy
>
>
>
> On 12/01/2014 10:46 PM, Jo Walsh wrote:
>
> Wow. Um. Okay, if this list is going to be asshole-free then we are almost
> all going to have to unsubscribe immediately.
>
> Okay, now the irony has kicked in, this is hilarious. Tearing strips off
> one another over minor points of semantics during a discussion about
> discursive civility. The whole thing reads like a performance parody. And
> this is what it is like in New York all this time? Maybe I should go back
> there :)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>  On Dec 2, 2014 1:58 AM, "Randal Hale" <rjhale at northrivergeographic.com>
> wrote:
>
>>  Whoever admins this list - Serge should be removed for that email. If it
>> doesn't happen I'm out.
>>
>> Bully all you want on whatever other list your on - this one should be
>> asshole free.
>>
>> Someone let me know if he's allowed to stay after that outburst.
>>
>> Randy
>>
>>
>> On 12/01/2014 08:30 PM, alyssa wright wrote:
>>
>> first ,congratulations to me for being the most offensive person ever to
>> you. i can only imagine what a high bar that is. second, i have a traumatic
>> brain injury. it is no fucking joke so lay off AND there is a lot i have
>> evidence of similarities between certain tbi's and autism. and finally, who
>> may i ask if the fucking public shamer in this scenario? i am happy to work
>> on an inclusive and safe coc that but i refuse to work with assholes.
>>
>>  period,
>> alyssa.
>>
>>
>>
>> On Mon, Dec 1, 2014 at 8:15 PM, Serge Wroclawski <emacsen at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Alyssa,
>>>
>>> While in OSM I've been called a pig, an imbecile, a bimbo, and a host
>>> of other terms, but your mail is absolutely, without a doubt the most
>>> offensive thing I've experienced in my time in OpenStreetMap.
>>>
>>> While I feel bad for your accident, saying that this makes you
>>> "neuro-diverse" is incredibly insensitive and rude.
>>>
>>> First of all, the term for people who differ from the norm in terms of
>>> neurology are called "nero-divergent", not "neuro-diverse", and second
>>> of all, your comparison of people who have conditions like autism or
>>> learning disabilities to people who've been in an accident is so
>>> offensive that I don't have the words for it.
>>>
>>> Second of all, it's not enough that you make neuro-divergent people
>>> uncomfortable at events, including my fiancée (who by the way has
>>> Aspegers), but now you've decided to shame her, and shame me, and
>>> every other person who has been born with a neurological disorder?
>>>
>>> You should absolutely be ashamed of yourself. This is the exact type
>>> of behavior that a code of conduct should in place to stop.
>>>
>>> Sincerely,
>>>
>>> - Serge Wroclawski
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
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>>
>>
>> --
>> -----------------
>> Randal Hale
>> North River Geographic Systems, Inchttp://www.northrivergeographic.com423.653.3611 rjhale at northrivergeographic.com
>> twitter:rjhale     http://about.me/rjhalehttp://www.northrivergeographic.com/spatial-connect
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
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>> diversity-talk at openstreetmap.org
>> https://lists.openstreetmap.org/listinfo/diversity-talk
>>
>>
> --
> -----------------
> Randal Hale
> North River Geographic Systems, Inchttp://www.northrivergeographic.com
> 423.653.3611 rjhale at northrivergeographic.com
> twitter:rjhale     http://about.me/rjhalehttp://www.northrivergeographic.com/spatial-connect
>
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>
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