[diversity-talk] Neurodiversity and CoC

Tue Dec 2 04:38:15 UTC 2014

This has spiraled into people hurting each other's feelings. I'm sorry for
everyone involved.

On October 14th, we integrated a change that makes the tone of public
reminders clearer and tries to avoid both public shaming and private
bullying:

> https://github.com/osmlab/CoC-mailing-lists/pull/13/files

On Mon, Dec 1, 2014 at 11:26 PM, Melelani Sax-Barnett <saxbarm at gmail.com>
wrote:

> Hi folks,
>
> Let's all please take a deep breath and try to calm down.
>
> I'd like to share something we recently implemented as a very important
> part of our code of conduct at my workplace: the assumption of good intent.
> That is, the first time someone does something that offends someone else,
> we should assume good intent.
>
> I think it's extremely unlikely that Alyssa was trying to hurt or offend
> anyone by what she said, but unfortunately it did end up doing so. The next
> step would be to let the person know that it was hurtful and why in a
> polite way and ask that they don't repeat the behavior. I'm not saying that
> it's not okay to be angry, but it's important at this stage to remain as
> level-headed as possible or seek the help of a mediator to make sure your
> message is communicated successfully. At the same time, the person who
> mistakenly acted in an offensive way is expected to demonstrate that they
> are listening and that they will try their best to avoid similar offenses
> in the future.
>
> I know this probably all sounds silly, but we make mistakes, we will
> always make mistakes, let's try not to repeat them but use them as an
> opportunity to learn from each other.
>
> My best,
> Mele
> On Mon, Dec 1, 2014 at 7:52 PM Randal Hale <
> rjhale at northrivergeographic.com> wrote:
>
>>  In general - yeah. But if we all unsubscribed who would get offended.
>> Alyssa already set the mark for worst person in existence and I always
>> thought that was the other guy.
>>
>> I can't decide if I find it all funny or sad. I'm leaning more towards
>> sad. But then I'd offend those with Season Affective Disorder...and get 42
>> emails describing me as the 2nd worst person ever past Alyssa.
>>
>> Anyway,
>>
>> Randy
>>
>>
>>
>> On 12/01/2014 10:46 PM, Jo Walsh wrote:
>>
>> Wow. Um. Okay, if this list is going to be asshole-free then we are
>> almost all going to have to unsubscribe immediately.
>>
>> Okay, now the irony has kicked in, this is hilarious. Tearing strips off
>> one another over minor points of semantics during a discussion about
>> discursive civility. The whole thing reads like a performance parody. And
>> this is what it is like in New York all this time? Maybe I should go back
>> there :)
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>  On Dec 2, 2014 1:58 AM, "Randal Hale" <rjhale at northrivergeographic.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>  Whoever admins this list - Serge should be removed for that email. If
>>> it doesn't happen I'm out.
>>>
>>> Bully all you want on whatever other list your on - this one should be
>>> asshole free.
>>>
>>> Someone let me know if he's allowed to stay after that outburst.
>>>
>>> Randy
>>>
>>>
>>> On 12/01/2014 08:30 PM, alyssa wright wrote:
>>>
>>> first ,congratulations to me for being the most offensive person ever to
>>> you. i can only imagine what a high bar that is. second, i have a traumatic
>>> brain injury. it is no fucking joke so lay off AND there is a lot i have
>>> evidence of similarities between certain tbi's and autism. and finally, who
>>> may i ask if the fucking public shamer in this scenario? i am happy to work
>>> on an inclusive and safe coc that but i refuse to work with assholes.
>>>
>>>  period,
>>> alyssa.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On Mon, Dec 1, 2014 at 8:15 PM, Serge Wroclawski <emacsen at gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Alyssa,
>>>>
>>>> While in OSM I've been called a pig, an imbecile, a bimbo, and a host
>>>> of other terms, but your mail is absolutely, without a doubt the most
>>>> offensive thing I've experienced in my time in OpenStreetMap.
>>>>
>>>> While I feel bad for your accident, saying that this makes you
>>>> "neuro-diverse" is incredibly insensitive and rude.
>>>>
>>>> First of all, the term for people who differ from the norm in terms of
>>>> neurology are called "nero-divergent", not "neuro-diverse", and second
>>>> of all, your comparison of people who have conditions like autism or
>>>> learning disabilities to people who've been in an accident is so
>>>> offensive that I don't have the words for it.
>>>>
>>>> Second of all, it's not enough that you make neuro-divergent people
>>>> uncomfortable at events, including my fiancée (who by the way has
>>>> Aspegers), but now you've decided to shame her, and shame me, and
>>>> every other person who has been born with a neurological disorder?
>>>>
>>>> You should absolutely be ashamed of yourself. This is the exact type
>>>> of behavior that a code of conduct should in place to stop.
>>>>
>>>> Sincerely,
>>>>
>>>> - Serge Wroclawski
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> diversity-talk mailing listdiversity-talk at openstreetmap.orghttps://lists.openstreetmap.org/listinfo/diversity-talk
>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> -----------------
>>> Randal Hale
>>> North River Geographic Systems, Inchttp://www.northrivergeographic.com423.653.3611 rjhale at northrivergeographic.com
>>> twitter:rjhale     http://about.me/rjhalehttp://www.northrivergeographic.com/spatial-connect
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> diversity-talk mailing list
>>> diversity-talk at openstreetmap.org
>>> https://lists.openstreetmap.org/listinfo/diversity-talk
>>>
>>>
>> --
>> -----------------
>> Randal Hale
>> North River Geographic Systems, Inchttp://www.northrivergeographic.com423.653.3611 rjhale at northrivergeographic.com
>> twitter:rjhale     http://about.me/rjhalehttp://www.northrivergeographic.com/spatial-connect
>>
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