[diversity-talk] Neurodiversity and CoC

[Serge Wroclawski]

Alan,

You're right, Alyssa and I do have a history, and that does create a
lens by which I read her words.

I won't go into the details right now, because I feel they would
detract from the overall discussion.

I wish Alyssa all the best in terms of her recovery. She (like I)
lives in the city with some of the best doctors in the US. I studied
brain injuries in collage, as part of the curriculum of getting a
degree in psychology. They're not something I would wish on anyone,
but they're not comparable to a lifetime of isolation, frustration and
depression. Her statement came off to me as dismissive. Maybe it
wasn't meant to- but it sure stung like hell.

What really shocks me is the response to my mail.

I think my reaction mirrors the other reaction in the other thread. It
cut deep and was triggering. I'm still hurt by the comparison. It
dismisses years of being alienated as children (by both children and
their parents), of suffering academically (as the other poster said),
of generally being mistreated, or being socially isolated and feeling
inadequate and alone. Alyssa's mail felt to me as taking all this and
dismissing it away with the wave of a pen.

I tried very hard not to let that pain come off too strongly in my
email. I was offended and I said so, but I tried to stick to the
facts, and the response from Alyssa was not to say mea culpa, but to
say, essentially "You're an asshole".

It feels a bit like a bizaro world, where calling out offensive
statements is considered bad, and name calling and kicking someone
while they're down is okay.

- Serge