[diversity-talk] Neurodiversity and CoC

[Dan S]

Hi Serge and all -

I would say about this that two wrongs don't make a right. It seems
that Alyssa accidentally and very ironically trod on a sensitive
issue, and I must admit I could easily have made the same mistake as
her - it has not occurred to me until today that people who identify
as neuro-divergent would have such strong reasons to defend their
difference from people with brain injuries. The resulting conversation
has of course educated me. I'm sorry that the first mistake happened,
but I'm also sorry that your reaction was so damning. This is all very
personal now but I really hope we can move on from it. I would like to
thank Kai for his email response in the other thread, which I
personally think is a good perspective.

Best
Dan



2014-12-02 12:47 GMT+00:00 Serge Wroclawski <emacsen at gmail.com>:
> Alan,
>
> You're right, Alyssa and I do have a history, and that does create a
> lens by which I read her words.
>
> I won't go into the details right now, because I feel they would
> detract from the overall discussion.
>
> I wish Alyssa all the best in terms of her recovery. She (like I)
> lives in the city with some of the best doctors in the US. I studied
> brain injuries in collage, as part of the curriculum of getting a
> degree in psychology. They're not something I would wish on anyone,
> but they're not comparable to a lifetime of isolation, frustration and
> depression. Her statement came off to me as dismissive. Maybe it
> wasn't meant to- but it sure stung like hell.
>
> What really shocks me is the response to my mail.
>
> I think my reaction mirrors the other reaction in the other thread. It
> cut deep and was triggering. I'm still hurt by the comparison. It
> dismisses years of being alienated as children (by both children and
> their parents), of suffering academically (as the other poster said),
> of generally being mistreated, or being socially isolated and feeling
> inadequate and alone. Alyssa's mail felt to me as taking all this and
> dismissing it away with the wave of a pen.
>
> I tried very hard not to let that pain come off too strongly in my
> email. I was offended and I said so, but I tried to stick to the
> facts, and the response from Alyssa was not to say mea culpa, but to
> say, essentially "You're an asshole".
>
> It feels a bit like a bizaro world, where calling out offensive
> statements is considered bad, and name calling and kicking someone
> while they're down is okay.
>
> - Serge
>
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