[talk-au] Need help wording flyier

John Smith delta_foxtrot at yahoo.com
Sun Aug 2 05:05:20 BST 2009




--- On Sat, 1/8/09, b.schulz.10 at scu.edu.au <b.schulz.10 at scu.edu.au> wrote:

> Just a minor note: The tracks in the
> Glenrock State Recreation Area are closed to public vehicles
> so it's more accurate to mention that link in relation
> to bushwalking and MTB riding than 4WD'ing. Oh, and
> they're more "detailed" than
> "accurate". It's a shame that the
> "shortlink" links are so cryptic. It would be nice
> if they were something a bit more user friendly such as a
> series of digits but we can't do anything about that.

I just dropped the 4wd bit and left it as ambiguously as tracks.

> Also, I think the 5th paragraph would read better if the
> 2nd sentence read "...stifle this kind of innovation
> due to restrictive licensing." as the phrase "of
> the data" is used at the end of both sentences in that
> paragraph.

I reworded things, hopefully for the better there and in a number of other paragraphs, new version is up.

> In the last paragraph giving contact details it's
> probably better to write in 3rd person rather than 1st. ie:
> change "...or contact me directly..." to
> "...or contact John directly...".

fixed.

> Overall it looks good though. Love the road painting
> graphic :).

I only just thought of it, but I probably need to include a suitable copyright notice to, as this graphic and other info was a modified version of what others have already done.


      




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