[Osmf-talk] "a viper pit of racism and misogyny"

joost schouppe joost.schouppe at gmail.com
Tue Dec 19 23:42:40 UTC 2017

I think part of the issue we're having is that we are conflating the
discussion about having a more welcoming community with the kind of hard
hatred prevention you can do with a code of conduct.

Ben is absolutely right that the way we choose to express ourselves, scares
many people away. And even more damaging than people actually saying stuff
like "I hate the ID devs" are those that feel the need to defend people who
say this. If action on this leads people to self-censorship, excellent - I
also often delete messages and rewrite them when I've calmed down.

Still, we should be welcoming, even to people who make such statements. I
think the thread about Kate's State of the Foundation was exemplary in this
regard. Someone sent a rather ugly message and was rightly attacked for it.
They redeemed themselves by rewroting it into a completely acceptable
critique. The original issue was then actually addressed by Dorothea.

Good luck trying to achieve that with a code of conduct.

A minimal code, focusing on the kind of stuff Frederik mentioned would be a
much easier sell to the more critically inclined. But the way to get to a
warmer, friendlier community is probably not through rules, but through a
culture change. Learning to accept that some of us have different
communication skills,  and learning to take others people's feelings
seriously (even if we think they stem from conspiracy theories or from
childishness) are both things we should be able to learn. Beyond that, even
our back-and-forth style of arguing and deconstructing each other's
statements might be interesting but not very productive. And apparently a
very "male" way of communication.

I wish we could try just a bit harder to understand why the other has a
certain opinion, rather than trying to prove them wrong. This is why I love
Ben's comment, even if he picked a difficult example. It's hard to
understand why someone would wilfully damage the project in such a way, but
that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. There might be some hard truths where
that frustration came from. Still, I am hoping Dale will realize this is a
destructive course of action.

BTW I've just been told the actual trigger was not anything said on here,
but some blatant anti-American hate speech  on IRC that wasn't countered by
those present there:

```16:04 < kecharitomene> America's death cannot come swiftly or painfully
(I don't have more context as I don't have an irc archive)

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